So as I think through what this means, there was just one problem. You’ve probably already guessed it. I didn’t look anything at all like this woman. But I did feel like I’d seen her before. As if this wasn’t the first time I didn’t measure up to her appearance. It was then that I realized that everybody who was anybody looked exactly like her. They were thin but shapely, with fair-like skin, (you might be surprised to know that even in the black community brighter skin is more valued) long hair, tons of makeup, and most importantly sex appeal. I on the other hand had been a little chunky all my life, my skin was darker than most, my hair was too curly to comb and difficult to straighten so forget about it being long, I was too young for makeup and sex appeal was not allowed in my house. Where was everyone getting this idea of a love interest? Or of an attractive woman?

Consequently, it all starts with society’s definition of gender. Or in the case of a woman, society’s definition of what it means to be feminine. From childhood, we are taught gender roles; that we as girls should be gentle, kind, submissive, quiet, pretty, charming, etc. And as we get older, gender roles only become more complex. And more becomes expected of the gender. Along with being all of the above, we are now approached by society’s expectation of beauty, attractiveness, and sexuality.

My college ministry leader (SHIFT Ministry) used to always say that your beauty and attractiveness doesn’t depend on what society says, but ultimately depends on what Jesus and the Bible says about you.  I really appreciate the way he helped me focus on what is important in life and keep my identity in Jesus Christ rather than in what the world tells me about me.  Speaking about my college ministry leader, he now works with a carpet cleaning company in Orlando, and has taken a step back from college ministry.  I do miss him, but anywho, more thoughts tomorrow on Chris Brown’s video…

A friend’s take on the music vid…

I must have watched Chris Brown’s “Yo (Excuse Me Miss) a little over a million times. I can literally give a play by play of the entire video at any given time. I’ve had the lyrics memorized for years; even the ad libing parts. Chris Brown was my one true love. And having never been in love before, I kinda liked the feeling. It was only a matter of time before I began planning our future together. I even began imagining how we would meet.  Of course, my only basis for this imaginary encounter was his music video. In which a thin but shapely girl, with fair-like skin, long hair, tons of makeup, and revealing clothing that gave her sex appeal, catches his attention. He then proceeds to follow her around; dancing and flirting and trying to impress her. The video approaches an end as they get in a car and begin staring intently at one another and touching all over each other. They exchange numbers, my heart breaks, Chris Brown raps the ending of the song and gives a preview of his next single. Basically, I thought, all I had to do, as an 11 year old girl, was find a way to look like this woman. Chris Brown would notice me (walking by or at one of his concerts perhaps), we’d exchange numbers and live happily ever after.


Chris Brown people…Chris Brown!

If you are a fan of Chris Brown, I would love to hear from you as well.  American and true double platinum music icon coming at you live.  I know, he had that issue with his girlfriend and it stinks that things like that has to happen, but I believe he is a changed man.  You gotta admit, he has so much talent.  It is amazing.  Much influence from Michael Jackson and Usher.  Let me know if you are a Chris Brown fan as well.  Thanks guys!  Check out one of his videos!